Relationship Anxiety: Causes Of Anxiety (Part 1)



“It is important to note that everyone has some relationship anxiety, and that’s to be expected,” reiterated Dr. Amanda Zayde, a clinical psychologist at the Montefiore Medical Center. When anxiety strikes you and your partner, expect that things in your relationship will turn upside down. This disorder will not only change your partner but the unity and intimacy between the two of you. Numerous couples have separated ways because of anxiety, and this doesn’t have to happen to you too. You and your partner can overcome anxiety if you work together hand-in-hand and talk things through. However, before anything else, you need to equip yourself with knowledge about anxiety and its potential effect on relationships.


Causes of Anxiety In Relationships


There are numerous risk factors in the relationship that can contribute to relationship anxiety. The intensity of the condition will depend on what has caused it. Sometimes, it’s because of something big or even something unnoticeable but a core entity in your relationship. An example is what Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills child, parenting, and relationship psychotherapist said: “separation anxiety, or the worry that your partner is going to leave you when he or she gets angry with you — fear of abandonment — is one of the most common causes of anxiety in relationships.”


Below are some of the commonly identified factors that correlate to having an anxiety disorder.


Loss Of Trust In A Relationship


Being uncertain to possible future relationships can cause anxiety. People with bad experiences regarding relationships tend to distance themselves from the idea, avoiding forming relationships altogether. When they are finally in a relationship, they can’t help but create scenarios that might happen and ruin the relationship. They have this fear that the previous incident will happen again. As to what Alana Barlia, LMHC says, “anxiety can cause strain on a relationship, and often will if it is not treated properly.”


Loss Of Trust: General



Once trust is broken, you will indeed have a hard time building it back up. Not only does it affect the unity between you and your partner, but also with your other relationships. All you think about is the lost trust in your significant other, which quickly takes over you, affecting the way you live your life and your daily routines.


Walking On Eggshells


Getting into fights with your partner most of the time will not only scar you emotionally or even physically, but will also bring you anxiety. Since conflicts occur that often, every time you see your partner, the gears in your mind will immediately turn and the fight or flight senses will kick in. Instead of ironing out the wrinkles in your relationship, you’re more focused on avoiding them.




A struggling relationship consists of fighting, broken trust, regrets, and so many more. In conflicts like these, it’s easy for negativity to take place. No matter how much both parties try to ignore it, in one way or the other, that negativity will keep them pondering.





Stress is one of the main reasons why anxiety may surface. It may come from relationships, work, or just any factor that can trigger restlessness, like the bills or even the children. Being stressed all the time turns any person into someone they are not. Acquiring an anxiety disorder is a typical result of such stress.


Anxiety Manifestations


Below are the typical signs of anxiety:


  • Unable to sleep
  • Shaking
  • Tensed muscles
  • Depression
  • Sweating


Anxiety is a pain, primarily when it negatively affects your relationship with loved ones. As I mentioned above, relationship anxiety can come in all shapes and forms and can be influenced by some risk factors. However, I believe that anxiety shouldn’t take over your life and chain you away from connecting with others, especially with your partner. In my next post, I will be providing possible solutions to relationship anxiety.


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